Seek Solace In Those Walking A Similar Path

Infertility’s power, as a word, comes from its infectious ability to creep into every aspect of your life. Not only does it affect men’s and women’s views of their own self worth and the widely recognized effects of not being able to have children of your own. As I have learned over the last six years, it filters down into every day to day decision and aspect of your life. Many experience depression from the inability to reproduce. Fertility treatments range in cost but will set you back thousands of dollars at a time. The medications, along with the emotional turmoil of the process, are difficult on the woman’s body and her psyche. If you are like us and not lucky enough to live in a city that has local fertility specialists, you will have to plan vacation time around appointments which can be numerous leading up to an embryo transfer. Many marriages are torn apart from the pressure and all interpersonal relationships are affected. It can also be difficult to attend baby showers, family holidays and gatherings, etc… for fear of losing your composure and bringing your perceived deficiencies into the light.

So the answer is yes, words can and do have power and that power can be overwhelming. Infertility is still, very often, a hushed condition that the affected suffer with in silence. Many will say that adoption is always an option and there are so many needy children in the system. Adoption is definitely an option we are willing to consider, when we feel the time is right for us. We are still working against the proverbial time clock to optimize the few chances we have left to try and achieve what comes naturally to most and, all too often, is taken for granted. If I could leave you with two more pieces of advice, they would be as follows. First of all, for a short time, my wife and I were part of a fertility group at our church that was organized by another couple that had struggled through seven years of infertility before having their first child and they wanted to share their experiences in the hope that it would help those that come behind with some of the messier details. The experience was invaluable and I would highly recommend seeking out a group. If your church does not have a fertility group, be brave and start one on your own. You will be surprised at how many people will come out of the woodwork. If you aren’t comfortable being the protagonist, many fertility clinics have bulletin boards where support groups advertise and, at a minimum, the internet offers innumerable chat rooms with people that are going through the same experiences. The last thing that I would leave you with is that, even though infertility is a very powerful word and its effects are wide-ranging and stifling, there are other words that carry power as well. And today, the one word that holds the most power for me is HOPE!